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LGBTQ+ Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask

LGBTQ+ Questions

There are many LGBTQ+ questions we’re often asked, or that others feel the need to ask, but may be too embarrassed to do so.

LGBTQ+ Questions

There’s no need to be embarrassed as long as you ask your LGBTQ+ questions in a respectful manner. We answer some common questions here.

Is the word “ Queer” offensive?

The word “queer” comes up fairly frequently. The honest answer is it depends on who you ask. I’m not going to tell you if you, personally, should use it or not but if you identify with it or a friend does then that’s great! If you or they don’t, that’s also great! Many people are making an effort to reclaim the word queer, saying that the word is more inclusive, and pointing out that by reclaiming a word, the community can have ownership and power over a word that once used to hurt them and be offensive or even demeaning.

This movement to reclaim “queer” started back in the 1980s and has become progressively more popular in the decades since, though it’s still widely debated.

Is there a word for someone who is partially Asexual?

There are many different types of Asexuals, there is a spectrum, like other sexualities and genders.

You have (not limited to just these definitions there are many others):

  • Asexual – Someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction or an intense desire to have sexual relationships.
  • Demisexual – Someone who can only experience sexual attraction or desire after an emotional bond with a person. This is different from the choice to abstain from sex until a certain criteria are met e.g marriage.
  • Grey-asexual (grey-a) or grey-sexual – This is someone who identifies with the area between asexuality and sexuality. Example, they may experience sexual attraction but very rarely and only under specific circumstances, or of an intensity so low that is ignorable and not a necessity in their relationships.
  • Allosexual – Someone who does experience sexual attraction or a desire to have sexual relationship. This is more commonly and simply known as being “Sexual”.
  • Aesthetic Attraction – Attraction to someones appearance without it being romantic or sexual. 


What is a Queer Platonic Partnership / Relationship?

The people involved do not have to identify as “queer”, it is a type of relationship experienced by and available to anybody regardless of their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, or (non-)monogamy. These participants may consider themselves friends, partners, life-partners, a couple, a triad, or use any other words that suit them.

What’s the difference between Genderfluid and Genderflux?

Gender Fluid – If you are genderfluid, you may experience shifts or changes in gender. Genderfluid is moving form male to female over time and mood, and feeling that both gender identities make up who you are as a person. Genderfluid people might switch pronouns according to how they present their gender at that time.

Gender Flux – Genderflux is an umbrella term for gender identities in which the gender or one’s perception of the gender’s intensity varies over time. It can be seen as a form of genderfluid on a spectrum from agender to one or more other gender identities. Genderflux people may also identify as non-binary, genderqueer and / or transgender.

Can you tell if someone is gay or lesbian just by how they look?

No, you can’t. Most LGBTQ+ people can’t be identified by physical appearance or by what they wear any more than anybody else. Being LGBTQ+ is not limited to just one type of person. There are LGBTQ+ people of all ages, cultural backgrounds, races, religions and nationalities, just like all people. They work in all occupations and live in all parts of the country.

Why do kids always use the word “gay” to put someone down?

Many children use the word “gay” that way because that is the only way that they have heard it used. Often children don’t know what it really means. They think that they can bother other children by using it. It’s not OK to use “gay” or “fag” as a put-down.

Is it a choice?

No, it is not a choice. People don’t choose to be gay or not. As people grow older they become aware of feeling attracted to others, whether those feelings are for someone of the same gender, a different gender or both.

Shannon Halliwell (She/Her)
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